Do not ever do this

As a child of about 12 years old, I was chosen for the school rugby team. During that year, a tour was arranged for us which comprised of 5 rugby matches in different towns.

The school”s old Mercedez bus was the chosen implement of transport and on the Friday of our departure looked more like an oversized minibus taxi. Apart from the trailer, a massive roof-rack was added to carry even more luggage. I suppose some moms packed clothing that would be suitable for anything between desert sandstorms, hailstorms and the possible odd snowfall.

After about 150km’s of driving, we stopped at a petrol station and some boys decided to buy some snacks. I wondered if the snacks their mom’s packed was really crappy? Mine was wonderful and included items from just about every possible food-group, including the most important ones, chips, popcorn, a selection of candies and biltong(dried meat treat which is super popular in South Africa).

A few of the boys bought 1l tubs of yogurt during the pitstop and this is what caused things to go pear shaped for some of them and one unfortunate motorist in a yellow Ford Capri. Apparently eating lots of yogurt on a bus that sways a lot while going along at 100kms per hour, can cause said yogurt eater to become nauseous. If I did not see it happen to three boys, I would never have thought that this could happen. The fact that it happened to one of the school bullies, was to me like a miracle from heaven, as it shut him down for most of the trip.

One boy decided that he had to get rid of half a tub of chocolate flavoured yogurt and the method to do this was to simply throw it out a side window. He sat around the middle of the bus. As the bus had no air conditioning system and it was a bloody hot day, most of us had the bus windows open.

As the boy launched the tub, half full of yogurt, some of the yogurt entered the bus through the back windows, hitting boys and teachers alike. The mathematics teacher, Mr Alkema, looked like he had his mom cover his face in some sort of cream just after bath-time. Another teacher had curly hair and I am sure it took him a number of washes to get the yogurt from that bush.

The rest of the yogurt hit a yellow Ford Capri, that was just behind the bus, right on the windscreen, covering it completely. At the speed that car was moving the yogurt spread out evenly within one or at the most two milliseconds. The car immediately started to swerve violently from left to right, something that was caused by the driver getting the fright of his life. He also switch on the car’s windscreen wipers, of which only the passenger side one actually started working, leaving the driver with still no view of the road.

The ending of that was him driving right through a farm fence next to the road and coming to a halt about 20 yards into a maize-field.

The lesson in all this is simple:

NEVER by a Ford. Even yogurt hates you if you do.

2 thoughts on “Do not ever do this”

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